The problem with letting 3 months go by...

...is that the passage of time, even a quarter of another year, doesn't necessarily mean there will be new results to post; it doesn't mean that "more of the same" will no longer apply to what I write here.  It's been a long time since my last post, in part because I was tired, both physically and mentally, from dedicating so much emotion and sacrificing time with my kids; in part, because I was not seeing the results I was hoping for, and it was easier to refocus my energy elsewhere than to continue worrying about my brother's safety and future; and also in part, because NOTHING, really, has happened.

Still, I would like to elaborate a bit on the "nothing" that has happened, and add a bit of follow-up detail to my last, long-ago blog post, because in reality, although I do get tired, I continue to think of my brother and Sage everyday, and this blog will never die completely.  Sage will always be my nephew, and one day, he'll know it, and this will still be here.

So, onto the story, as emailed to me in my brother's words.  Be patient though...as I read through the nonsense it invoked a steady stream of theme music running through my head (think of the music that plays at clown shows...like when they're pulling a never-ending string of colorful hankerchiefs out of a hat or something...you know, "doot doot dadadada doot doot dada..." or if that doesn't do it for ya, try this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjedLeVGcfE&feature=related ).  I'm not trying to make light of the situation, I just still can't believe how ridiculous it all can get.

- The judge in Salamanca who is directly handling the Hague case for Sage's return requested to be removed from handling it the day before the hearing to close the case on Sept 23.  He did this the day before the case closed even though he currently had the case in his court for nearly one year and the original Hague case (where a mistrial was declared) also started in his court almost three years prior.

- The judge's request for being removed from the case is immediately sent to the appeals court and assigned to an appeals judge, we filed a motion opposing the judge being removed from the case because it would cause additional delays and he was the only judge who had personally attended all the evidentiary hearings and had directly interacted with all parties to the trial.

- Rather than make a decision on the judge's request to be removed the appeals court Judge declared that the request to be removed from the case was not properly submitted and sent it back to the Salamanca judge because the Secretary of Foreign Relations office (designated as the Mexican Central Authority for the Hague Convention) was not personally notified by the judge that he'd like to be removed and thus, they hadn't been given a chance to offer an opinion on his request and the appeals court couldn't possibly make a decision on the request without knowing what the Secretary of Foreign Relations thought about the whole thing.

- The Salamanca judge then ordered that the Mexican Central Authority be notified and resubmitted his request.

- Now the appeals court judge, that is supposed to be deciding if the Salamanca judge can be removed from handling the case, seems to be requesting that they also be removed from handling the decision as to whether or not the Salamanca judge can be removed from handling the decision as to whether or not my son should be sent home.

In  parallel to the above mess, I also have other, indirect appeals and complaints with a bunch of other federal courts and agencies.  To make a long story short though, they are also plagued with the same type of time wasting nonsense, if not worse nonsense, than that displayed above.  In particular there's been a perverse game of "Hot Potato" going on for the last year.  Every case in Mexico has a court docket, or file, associated with it.  During international cases Mexican courts and agencies are required to always keep a certified copy of the court docket so that they can use it in the event that they have to send the original copy to another court for some reason.  Instead of doing this Mexican courts keep sending BOTH the original file AND the certified copy around to each other, in some cases without even attempting to make up a reason for why (I'm not kidding) and then say they are "blocked" from being able to make any progress on the case because they don't have the original files.  Of course, even though they say they are blocked because such and such court has the files, they never send a request to that court asking for them to be returned, they wait until we go over there and request it and then look for an excuse to send the files out again as soon as they arrive.

And so, this is all the news we have from Mexico for now, after all these months.  On the homefront, however, I suppose I should report for all of you who don't already know, my brother is back in North Carolina--at least for the time being.  The pressure of trying to work remotely in a different country was threatening his only means of livelihood, and he was forced to return.  Unfortunately, we haven't been able to see him yet up here as he is attempting to catch up on bills left unpaid while out of the country, as well as continuing to pay his lawyer in Mexico a significant amount of money each month.  Since he'll be spending Christmas alone this year, please take the time to wish him a merry one if you can!

Thanks everyone, and happy holidays to you all as well :)

Sonia

Let's try in a separate post

Weird...it worked :)

And not to ruin the sweetness of the post, but here's one the lawyer sent me of what happens when he and/or my brother attempt to visit Sage at his home after they skip a scheduled visit:

No new news, but...

I received these tonight from my brother's lawyer.  No description, but I'm pretty sure he took them the night he was setup to be arrested in front of Sage.  My brother had said that his lawyer had asked Sage to do his kung fu poses while he took some pictures for his dad.  A bit of rare sunshine to enjoy here on Justice for Sage :)  He looks so much like his daddy :)

Okay...so blogger is being picky again and stopped letting me upload pics after this first one was uploaded...it sometimes takes a bit to start working again, but I'll add the others as soon as I'm able.

--Sonia

MEXICO

As I was getting ready to put my kids to bed tonight, my phone rang.  I looked at the caller ID and saw only a number, but immediately knew that it was my brother calling.  When I picked up the phone, I could tell right away that he was calling from his cell phone...the Magic Jack phone actually sounds clear, whereas the cell phone has so much interference that it sounds like you're talking to somebody at a loud party 1000 miles away.  As you know, half of that equation does hold true.  We had about a 40-minute conversation, and I struggled the entire time to hear what was being said and to ask questions with the delay, but this is what I have to report:

Having heard little from my brother recently about progress on the case, I assumed not much was happening.  It's not unusual for there to be periods of inactivity, particularly in this court, where one can only deduce based on the level of coincidental incompetence that has been displayed, that there is a concerted effort going on to be inactive, and to delay the case as long as possible.  Well, I assumed incorrectly that things weren't happening...it's just that it was all happening on my brother's end rather than coming from the court directly.  Apparently,  over the last week or so, my brother and his lawyers filed several motions to the court.  In the past when they filed a motion, they usually were requesting some sort of action or decision regarding several issues at once (ie. Ana skipping visits, disregarding the judge's "order" to turn in a schedule of Sage's activities, his "order" that Sage attend the bilingual school in Salamanca, etc.).  The problem with this, however, was that the judge, JOSE FRANCISCO LARA RODRIGUEZ, would conveniently "address" the motion by making some vague comment about filing it in the case file, and ignore the 5 other things they had requested in it.  To make matters worse (and suspicion grow), when Ana would disregard one of the judge's orders, say for example to turn in Sage's schedule, he would simply give her the benefit of the doubt, stating (only after being prodded) that if she hadn't turned anything in, there must be no info to turn in.  In order to try and get the judge to do his job, and to get these issues resolved, my brother decided he would need to file a separate motion for each request, which is what he did over the last couple weeks.

Keep in mind that Ana has not shown up for a single visit, outside of the random one where my brother's lawyer was set up to be arrested IN FRONT OF SAGE, for over three months; she has not brought him even one day to the bilingual school that my brother paid well over $1000.00 up front for him to attend.

Fast forward back to this week, and about three days ago, my brother sent a vague email to his lawyer, which was cc'd to me, that he was checking into a hotel in Salamanca.  I asked him at the time what it was for, but never received an immediate reply...until today.  Apparently, today (Friday, September 23rd) was supposed to be the closing of this trial in the Salamancan court.  The judge would have had to address not only his decision on the Hague proceedings, but also resolve all the issues pending with visitation, Sage's school, etc., that would still be issues until the higher courts began their trial.  Whatever he might have decided, the good news would have been that at that point, the case could have moved out of the courts in Salamanca and onto the next level courts, which they inevitably have to do before any action to return Sage can take place.  My brother spent two days and nights paying for the hotel, having his suit dry-cleaned, and frantically preparing for the hearing to come.  Yesterday, however, the day before the hearing was to happen, and almost a year after this trial was opened, the judge published a motion that he is backing out of the case, and turning it over to another judge.  After months of effort, expense, hearings, evidence, THIS JUDGE'S observance of my brother's interactions with Sage, and witness to Ana's flagrant lying, the trial is going to have to be heard all over again by another judge, or, a rapid decision made by somebody who has no more to go on than paperwork, and whatever this pathetic excuse for a judge decides to tell him or her--neither of these scenarios seems hopeful.  All because this judge can't "handle" the case now, and because my brother and his lawyers assertions that he wasn't doing his job hurt his feelings.

In my mind, this is devastating to say the least.  Although this judge was about as far from competent, principled, or effective as one can be, I am both heartbroken, and at the same time, internally RAGING over the injustice that has taken place in this court of justice.  My brother, however, remains a warrior, whom no matter how crestfallen he must feel, looks ahead to what he must do next.  For however concerted this sadistic effort to separate father and son, however far removed Sage has been pulled away from his family and TRUE home, Carlos is his father, and he will never stop fighting...

                                                             ...AND NEITHER WILL WE.

Conspiracy of Idiots...and diablos

As I signed in to the blog just now to begin typing this update, I was truly surprised by the fact that it's been 6 whole days since I last posted here.  Although I knew when I entered my last post that it was going to be a busy week, and I wouldn't get much done, I really can't believe this many days have gone by.  Truth is, most of my September calendar page is filled with a bunch of scribble...much more than I'm accustomed to, and right now, I really don't like it.  Despite the fact that it really all is essential, my brother needs me now more than ever, and I just can't let up.  I'm wracking my brain, desperately, searching for the most effective avenues to pursue, but I know at the very least, I have to update the blog, so here I am.

The days seem to blur together now.  It's been so long since Ana took Sage, and the actions of the Mexican court have continued to be so much "more of the same," that it's sometimes difficult to remember what I've already written.  I think I mentioned in my last post that the judge who has been hearing my brother's most recent trial, Jose Francisco Lara Rodriquez, had been neglecting to publish decisions on any of the motions submitted by Carlos and his lawyers, including the one requesting an emergency hearing to get Sage to his new school after Ana had already skipped the first week.  The only "decision" he's posted in the last week or two was that he was fining my brother and his lawyer $100.00 for publicly commenting that he wasn't doing anything.  Who knew Mexico had become a dictatorship??

Well, fast-forward to this past Wednesday, which those of you with great memories might recall is supposed to be a visit day for Carlos and Sage (I know, after two months of no-shows, it's hard to keep track); Carlos wasn't feeling well, and since he had ZERO reason to believe Ana would show up, he decided not to drive the hour to Salamanca this time.  His lawyer (Elliot), however, who tends to take every opportunity to collect evidence that he can, decided to head over, and to his surprise, Ana, her cousin, and Sage were there.  The rest, I will copy and paste from my brother's email to me, as it contains much detail, and trying to rewrite it in my own words would be lengthy and cumbersome.  As you read it, keep in mind that when he mentions the "Ministerio Publico," he is talking about the same woman who deliberately had his first return order for Sage overturned by not showing up to "represent Sage."  She is the same one who is claiming to represent Sage in the current trial, but who stated on the first day, before even hearing any evidence or interviewing my brother, that "the child" should stay with his mother; the same woman who sits tellingly next to Ana and her lawyer at every trial, whispering like a little school girl back and forth with them, and nodding her head every time Ana makes a statement equivalent to "yes, judge, I already said that...black is white."  (Here is a picture of the Ministerio Publico, PATRICIA MARIA CARVAJAL AGUILERA sitting with Ana and her lawyer--she's the one to the far left:)

And now, back to my brother's email:

 "So, as it turns out, Elliot was arrested trying to go to the scheduled visitation with Sage by a conspiracy of actors who used Ana, and much more importantly, Sage, as bait in an attempt to teach my attorney a lesson about who he can mess with, and to create evidence to use against me in court.

Elliot represented another client before the same court (different judge though, it was the judge I went before the first time I had the Hague case) and won a settlement against an architect for some $200,000 (USD.)  That decision has gone through all appeals and is now in the process of being executed.  During the execution of the decision, Elliot, per a court order and along with a group of police and a court functionary, went to the mansion of the architect to place an embargo on her possessions in order to recover the debt.

Several male friends and/or family of the architect came out to attack Elliot.  He argued with them briefly and they left with the court functionary noting to the judge that the order could not be enforced due to obstructions.

As it turns out, the judge who received the note is also my judge (since he is now the judge for that court.)  He forwarded it to a specific Ministerio Publico, the same one that is "representing Sage"  Instead of filing charges against the architect they conspired with the architect to file charges against Elliot.  She came in and showed, what looks like a mosquito bite, and claimed it was an injury caused by Elliot attacking her and, according to the complaint, Elliot is an extremely dangerous, violent and armed person.  On the basis of this the MP ordered that a team of Ministerial Police capture Elliot.  In order to do so they arranged for Ana to bring Sage to the first visit in months as bait.  She showed up well dressed and, uncharacteristically, happy about being there and, for the first time ever, brought her cousin who had a video camera and was recording everything..  I was not feeling well that day and had no expectation whatsoever that she would show up, so I didn't go.  When Elliot saw her and Sage he went over and starting talking to them.  He took a video of Sage and asked Sage to do some kung fu poses so he could take pictures for his dad.  He then called me to tell me she was there with Sage so I could try to drive over and see him, even if only for a few minutes.  While I was talking to him he told me that police dressed in plain clothes had suddenly appeared, surrounded him from all sides, and were arresting him on camera (Ana's cousin's) and, more importantly, in front of Sage, who knows Elliot as his friend and the friend, confidant and companion of his father -- even Ana has dishonestly claimed in court that during the visits Elliot plays with Sage and I just sit there.  It's not true, but by her own admission Elliot is friends with Sage.

A few of the many not so coincidental coincidences there are:

- Ana showing up for a visit - 1st time in a long time

- Ana recording the visit - 1st time ever

- A team of 6 or so police waiting for Elliot in a place they should never expect him to be (the Plaza in Salamanca)

- A totally bogus claim that Elliot is an extremely dangerous and armed person

- The prosecutor who is pursuing the charge is the same one that caused the order for Sage to be returned to be overturned by her not attending the hearings
- the prosecutor pursuing the charge is the same one that Elliot and I have various complaints against, including one with the federal prosecutor, and a long list of complaints about her outright representing Ana and not Sage in my trial.

- The prosecutor knowing full well that Elliot is not an extremely dangerous and armed person.

On the one hand there is the claim that Elliot is "armed and dangerous."  But if that's true, why are they arresting him and using a small innocent child as bait?  Finding out which cases Elliot handles is very easy and they could just as easily arrest him when he goes to court.. or just go to his house.  More to the point, the MP already knows of AT LEAST ONE case that Elliot handles since she has seen him there with me personally at least a dozen times.

Of course the simple fact that the MP who is "representing" Sage, would use him as bait in what they are pretending is the apprehension of a dangerous criminal speaks volumes by itself.  Either my lawyer is a dangerous criminal and she willing exposed the child she represents to unnecessary danger or she knows my lawyer is not dangerous and was trying to intimidate him and fabricate some evidence to use against me in the mean time.  Either way, I'd say my son's better off representing himself than having such incompetent counsel.

But since everyone knows my lawyer is no dangerous criminal, the idea was clearly to try to intimidate Elliot and make a video of it to turn in to the court so that Ana can claim ignorance of WHY Elliot was arrested but pretend that Elliot is a dangerous criminal with whom I associate it in order to prevent Elliot from attending visitations with me and say that I'd put Sage in danger by being around such people -- which of course leaves me alone, without even my attorneys, in a foreign city of a foreign country amongst a group of people, my wife's family, who have proven repeatedly that they are willing to commit all sorts of fraud and false allegations to try to harm me.

And so, what more can I say?  It is SO absolutely ridiculous, that if anybody important enough actually gave a damn, it wouldn't take much to expose the stupidity, corruption, and injustice being served in this circus to not only my brother and four-year-old nephew, but also now to the lawyers willing to represent him.  Elliot goes to trial on Monday for this trumped-up assault charge.  The courts sure can work quickly when they want to, no?  I will post an update as soon as I hear something.

I know this was another long post; as always, THANK YOU for reading and supporting!

--Sonia

In the thick of it...

Around the time that I started this blog is about when I really began to get so emotionally involved with my nephew's abduction, that I literally now think about it several times per day.  It's not that it didn't affect me before, but like so many, I kept believing it was going to get resolved, and didn't feel there was much I could do anyway.  My brother was living in North Carolina and I in Michigan, so although I was obviously aware of what he was dealing with, I didn't acutely feel the loss of Sage like he did immediately, nor did I have the chance to observe my brother's living hell day in and day out as I would have had he lived closer.  My mind could sort of "believe" that things were okay, because even if Sage had still been at home where he should have been, I wasn't likely to see him more than a few times per year anyway at that point.  I think everyone can relate to this story; most of us have known at least one person in our lives who has experienced something unimaginable, of which we empathize and secretly thank God it isn't happening to us...we offer condolences and generic (although sincere) words of encouragement, but at the end of the day, we all have our own families, our own jobs, our own stresses (however relatively trivial they may be), and it's HARD to have to dwell on painful situations for very long, particularly when you don't know what to do to make them better.  Right or wrong, shameful or not, I was able to do this, for the most part, for the better part of the last almost four years that Sage has been gone (granted, I was completing an internship and starting a new job, my second child was born, and my oldest started kindergarten during this time), but as life has started to stabilize for my own little family a bit, and I've had the chance to start looking beyond my own borders more, it's all kind of hit me like a ton of bricks, and now, I'm in the thick of it...

The first thing I do every morning is get on the computer to see if there is any news from Mexico, any responses to attempts made to contact others about the case, any movement at all, first for my brother, and then also for other parents left in the same situation as his.  Often, there is none, and I find myself wondering what could I possibly do today that might make some sort of difference?  These are the times when I am most productive with keeping up on the blog, writing letters, taking pictures or flying to Mexico!  I feel hopeful and strong during these periods, but as they go on and my patience begins to wear thin, and I see little progress made where it really matters, I fall back a bit, and begin to wonder how I can continue to care so much about this when nothing's happening, when I see other things in my life lacking, or my own children vying for my attention because I've been typing away for too long.  Sleep is often the thing to give in my case, and I do pay for it.  I am lucky to have my own supports at home to keep me going.  But, the desire to do more is always there.  I miss my brother regularly, and now, only weeks after returning from my visit to see him in Mexico, I find myself daydreaming about going back again, as though it were really an option in the near future.  Money is always an issue though, as anybody taking the time to read this blog can relate to, and so I have to really consider the most wise use of it.  I want so much to become fluent in Spanish, not just so I can communicate with my nephew, my brother's lawyers, and others willing to help in Mexico, but also so that the next time I'm there, I can really tell Ana and her parents what I think of them and what they're doing.  But, again, I have to consider whether the outcome of that would be worth the financial and time commitment it would inevitably require.

I am one of so many that feels complete and total outrage at the fact that this kind of hell can be committed against a family, and 99.9% of the time, there is no effective recourse available.  There has to be more that we can do, and we must...we must all continue to take advantage of these times when we have the energy and the ability to try and do something.  If we don't, nothing will ever change.  The State Department, the OCI, the Hague Convention have all proven themselves to be worth so little for so long, that people like my brother's in-laws consider it a generous offer to suggest to him that he leave things be, let Sage stay in Mexico, and they "promise they'll tell him who his father is"; the judge hearing the current trial in Mexico continues to find it acceptable that he exceed his legal limits for making decisions on motions that are submitted, most recently demonstrated by his failure to grant or deny an emergency hearing regarding Ana's failure to get Sage to his new school, which has been in session for over a week.  Charges are now being filed against him for failing to do his job, which sounds hopeful, but at the same time, we'd hoped that this judge would finally care about what was right and make things happen.

 And on that note, another week ends with renewed frustration, but also with my promise to my brother, to Sage, to other LBP's, and to Ana and her parents, who I know read this blog, that I will not give up, I will continue to fight for justice for my nephew, and that Ana and her family will not be able to walk quietly away from the sins they have committed and continue to commit each and every day.  God sees all of it--the lies they tell to Sage behind closed doors, the scrapbook of pictures made for Sage of his cousins and family that they confiscated and refused to let him see; their neighbors will continue to see that Sage's father actually DOES care about his son, that he makes attempts every week to see him, and goes to their house when they don't show up; anybody who gets online will be able to read about what they've done, and one day, Sage will see what they have taken from him. 

Letter to the judge hearing the case in Mexico

Dear Mr. _____________,

I would like to thank you for taking the time to meet with me during my trip to Mexico almost three weeks ago, regarding the Hague case involving my nephew, Sage Bermudez Rayon.  I regret that our communication was complicated by the fact that I do not speak fluent Spanish, nor you English, and that we had to rely on translation in order to make our points.  Because of this, I was not able to express to you fully how the abduction of my nephew has affected both myself, and my entire family here in the U.S.  I am writing this letter to you now, and having it translated, so that I may do just that.

As you may know, Sage’s father Carlos is my twin brother.  Although I love all of my siblings, the relationship between twins is a unique one that I can’t quite put into words, except to say that when Sage was born, and he, Ana Belem, and my brother came to visit, holding him was almost like holding a little version of my own twin brother.  My own child was almost three years older than Sage, but I still looked so forward to the day when our children would spend time playing together, as cousins.  His mother and I exchanged emails a couple of times after their second visit, and I thought it would be an opportunity for both of us to get to know each other better, and to practice our language skills—I’ve always wanted to speak better Spanish, and since she was living in the U.S., I thought it would be helpful for her to practice English as well.  I have to admit, I did think it was strange that she hadn’t yet told her parents she was married to my brother, let alone that she’d been pregnant for 9 months, and was now a mother, but when I asked her why she wouldn’t let my brother meet her family, she said, “because I’m afraid they would kill him.”  I accepted her response, obviously not wanting any harm to come to my brother, but at the time was unaware that it would be the last time I held, or saw, my nephew for over three years.  Only 7 months later, shortly after Sage’s first birthday, Ana Belem told my brother she had to help out a family member in Arizona who was about to be deported, and abducted their son to Mexico.  Had it not been for my brother’s advanced understanding of computers and technology, he might not have figured out what Ana had done, and where she and Sage were, until it was too late. 

It would soon become clear that Ana’s intention was not only to take Sage out of the country, but to completely erase any memory, and all communication, between herself and Sage, and Sage’s loving father and family.  My brother, horrified and desperate, spent the next three years doing all he could from his home in N.C., first trying to work out a reasonable agreement between himself and Ana, and when she refused, learning all he could about International Parental Abduction and the Hague Convention.  During that time, Sage continued to get older, and to spend some of his most important formative years without the benefit of a father, and without half of his family and culture; my brother spent his time trapped in a fog of depression, exhaustion, and worry over the welfare of his son; and our family began to slowly realize that not only had we lost a beautiful little boy, but we had also lost my brother—my mother, her son. 

When Carlos left for Mexico, he went not only to be closer to the case and to take part in that, but to spend time re-establishing the bond with his growing son, the bond that his wife had so selfishly and abusively attempted to sever.  We were all very worried for him…missing him, but glad that he would at least get to finally see his little boy.  I traveled to Mexico not only to support him and to be with him, but to hold my little nephew for the first time in three years.  This was the one plea I made to you when I met with you that first day in court…”please let me see my nephew.” 

When I decided to go to Mexico, it was with the belief, or maybe just the hope, that it could not really be an entire judicial system condoning the actions of Ana Belem…the kidnapping of a child from his father.  Ana, through her continued displays of parental alienation and outrageous lies, had made this case such a clear-cut one in favor of my brother and Sage.  As the days passed, however, and my time to return home approached ever faster, my heart began to sink further and further each time Ana skipped a visit with Sage.  One day I sat with my brother, trying to reason with Ana’s parents Mr. and Mrs. Rayon for over three hours outside their house, with the hopes that I could take one picture with my nephew to bring home to my family…Sage was right on the other side of the door…and in the end, they refused to let him come out for even a minute. 

By the time I boarded a plane to come home ten days after arriving, my faith in the impartiality of the Mexican legal system, in its ability to look beyond Mexican vs. American, and instead to right vs. wrong, was shattered.  Not only had I not gotten my visit with Sage after traveling thousands of miles and spending just as much money, but I had witnessed my brother, Sage’s FATHER, attempt over and over again to attend his visits with his son, only to face the disappointment that he was not there once again. 

Perhaps my greatest disappointment is not the fact that Ana continues to do this to Carlos and to Sage, but that you, the judge who is supposed to right wrongs, and who has all the power in the world to make the visits happen should you care enough to do so, continue to make empty threats to Ana that are never enforced, thereby postponing the hearings for the Hague trial further and further, and allowing Sage to suffer the psychological abuse that his mother so freely doles out day after day.  This is NOT a custody case.  This is a clear case of right and wrong, of a kidnapper, and not only one, but several victims who have suffered due to her actions.  It should have been resolved years ago as delineated in the Hague Convention, of which Mexico is a signatory.  This is your job, and I implore you to begin taking it seriously.  These are the lives of a family, of real people, and yes, of that innocent little boy who deserves to know his father.

Sincerely,

Sonia Esther Bermudez Thompson, aunt of Sage Bermudez Rayon

And the Missed Visits Continue...

So yesterday, Sunday Aug. 28th, was supposed to be another visit between Carlos and Sage in Salamanca.  Why I keep hoping beyond reason that each impending visit will be the one where Ana finally feels compelled to show up is beyond me, but once again, I thought that this one might work out.  I talked to Carlos last night after he had driven the 1 1/2 hours back to San Miguel, and lo and behold, guess who never showed up.  Carlos sat and waited in the plaza where the two-hour visits are scheduled to take place, in vain, until his lawyer showed up about an hour later to see how things were going; since we'd started a tradition while I was in Mexico of showing up at their house when they missed the visits, Carlos and his lawyers decided to do just that.

Knowing that by this point, the security guards at the entrance were probably pretty familiar with their vehicles, and instructed by Ana's father not to let them in, Carlos and the lawyers decided to park a bit further away and walk in.  The sidewalk, however, still requires that they walk by the guards, and none of them were surprised when the guard informed them that they did not have permission to enter.  Righteously determined, however, to make Ana and her complicit family face the visits they were denying Carlos each time they skipped out, they walked past the rent-a-cops anyway, explaining the court-ordered visits, and over to the gate in front of Ana's parents' house.  Carlos' lawyer began ringing the doorbell again and again, until Ana's father and mother came out and walked over to the guard to ask why he had let them in.  He replied, "they used "force," which simply meant that they had ignored his requests to stay out.  During the interchange that followed, Ana's father repeated multiple times to my brother that he'd "told him he didn't want to work with the lawyers, and that he (Carlos) needs to talk to him (Ana's dad) alone.  Carlos told him that he was using the visits with Sage as a bargaining tool and that those, at the very least, are not in any way negotiable.  Ana's mother tried to say that they had shown up to "the visit on Saturday," and were there from 10-5.  Here are the multiple problems with that story:

          1.) The Saturday visit she was referring to was part of the proposed new visit schedule, and was not to be finalized until the child services agency had received payment and approved the schedule.  It was never confirmed in any way, and in fact, Carlos and his attorney had rejected the schedule proposed by child/family services almost a week ago, because it had cut hours from his visit.

           2.) Ana's mom said they were there from 10-5, but child and family services had already said they couldn't work with that schedule, and could only be there until 3:00.

           3.) For the select few visits that Ana has actually shown up to, she has NEVER stayed longer than 15 minutes if Carlos wasn't there on time.  It is absolutely unbelievable that she would have stayed from 10-5 with him not there.

Presumably, this is all stuff that can easily be confirmed anyway, but this is yet another example of how this family just says whatever sounds good at the moment, regardless of whether they've said the opposite the week before, or if what they're saying amounts to "water is dry."  As they stood there talking, Carlos remembered that just prior to the scheduled visit 6 days ago, his lawyer had received a text message from Ana stating that her mother had been in a serious car accident the night before, and was in "grave condition."  When Carlos said, "aren't you supposed to be in the hospital, in grave condition no less," her dad said, "ARE YOU A DOCTOR?"  So now, not only are we supposed to believe that Ana's family coincidentally has a valid excuse for missing visits at least three times/week, but they're also miracle healers.

So now, it's been almost two months since my brother has seen his son, Sage, and the saddest, and most infuriating, part of all of this, is not the now predictable behavior of Ana and her parents, but the fact that the judge has been doing little more than sitting on his hands when it comes to responding to all the evidence of Ana's continued criminal behavior, her missed visits, and deliberate alienation of Sage from his father.  He has made empty threats for so long now that even Ana has his number, and when he promises that, "if she continues to skip visits he can change custody," and if she skips visits he can fine her, or bring charges against her, and when he orders that she provide proof of Sage's illnesses causing them to miss visits or to produce a list of all his extracurricular activities for Carlos to be able to attend, and she IGNORES ALL OF IT THE SECOND SHE LEAVES THE COURTROOM, and he DOES NOTHING, he not only reinforces the behavior and jeopardizes Carlos' faith in the impartiality of the Mexican legal system, but he makes himself look like a floorboard that anyone and everyone can just walk all over, and his courtroom look like a hall of jesters. 

And so, another week has begun, another week when the judge has the opportunity to do the right thing...to do his job; another week where we continue to hope that Carlos and Sage will rightfully be able to spend time together.  As for myself, my work schedule picks up a little bit this week, and my daughter returns to school, so I may find it a bit more difficult to be as diligent with updating the blog, but I will continue to post anything new that I hear from my brother.  I also plan to contact, once again, Representative Mike Rogers regarding H.R. 1940 (who has yet to respond to any of my inquiries regarding this issue thus far); I plan to write a personal letter to the judge in Mexico, and a letter regarding the discrepancy in the U.S.' involvement in assisting left-behind parents when they are government officials vs. "regular" citizens (to try and publicize), and make a request for info in my brother's case using the freedom of information act.

Let's hope for some good news this week :)  May you all have a good one!
--Sonia

End of the Week

When I left Mexico a week ago now, I felt hopeful that the coming week would bring lots of action and some official decisions in my brother's case.  They had finally returned to court after several weeks off, all of the evidence that my brother and his lawyer's had so painstakingly collected regarding Ana's continued lack of compliance with visits, her criminal actions, as well as those of the "ministerio publico," had all been turned in and were awaiting decisions, a new visitation schedule that would allow Carlos and Sage time uninterrupted by Ana and her hysterical rants was being set up, Sage was set up to start a new school where he would learn some English...everything looked poised to go somewhere, and I felt confident that my brother's return to solitude would be brightened soon by some good news.

Well, here we are at the end of what was supposed to be a productive week, and this is what I have to report:

1.) Initially, Ana did try to resist Sage's enrollment in this new school, which is to help him begin learning English, and is also the best, period, in Salamanca.  Thankfully, she realized quickly enough that she had no better alternative, and there was no way for her to justify anything different.  On the other hand, she and her lawyer are now making the claim to the judge that Carlos' payment of Sage's tuition constitutes an acceptance that Sage should remain in Mexico, so her sudden show of logic maybe wasn't as selfless as it might seem...I know, I know, but what else can a group of liars and kidnappers do but grasp at straws?  Carlos believes, but is unable to verify at this point, whether Sage was actually in attendance between Wednesday and today.  He should know for sure next week.

2.) Regarding the new visitation schedule, the child services people notified the court that they could not be present for a long visit on Saturday.  Frequency of visits had already been reduced when the new arrangement was proposed in court, and the long visit was supposed to make up for this.  With (supposed) "ordered" visitation already being reduced, Carlos and his lawyers decided to reject the new arrangement, electing instead to keep the currently running schedule, but specifying that Ana still not be allowed to interfere with their interaction.  His next scheduled visit is on Sunday.  If Ana doesn't show up with Sage, it will have been six weeks since my brother saw his son. 

3.) The judge has now superseded the legal limits he has to resolve submitted motions, confirming in my mind that he either is uninterested in the outcome of this case, or he is biased in terms of the outcome towards preferring either the Mexican citizen or the woman (kidnapper) in the case over the American father.  Carlos' attorney says they have some sort of legal recourse they can take, but what it seems to amount to is another amparo (appeal), or some other action that will only delay things further.  Seems like grasping at straws seems to work just fine in this court...

4.) Carlos has been sick the last few days, and I'm hoping he'll take the time to take care of himself for a bit...

And that is it, another week gone, another week that Carlos did not see Sage, another week spent in Mexico, another week that Ana, her family, and, deliberately or not, the courts, continue to break international law, and condone the loss of a father to his son.  But I guess to Ana, at least, it means little...after all, she can always just find another "Martin" to take his place, right?

Ana in Mexico with her boyfriend, shortly before kidnapping Sage, and while she was still pretending to have a normal life with her huband in N.C.

Some Pictures from Mexico

 The City of Guanajuato--this is where Carlos spends about 1/3 of his time

 Another view--sorry it is sideways--the city is built into the mountains

 Guanajuato

 This was in Salamanca at Sage's first missed visit while I was there (myself and one of the lawyers)--this is the same place where the pictures of Carlos and Sage were taken playing with the foam swords a few months back

 Same location--myself and Carlos' principal attorney

 Sorry this is sideways--this is the courtyard where Sage and Carlos were the day Ana called the police and accused Carlos and his lawyers of attempting to kidnap Sage (see the video of this incident on the youtube link to the right)

 San Miguel de Allende's "centro" area.  No, it was not an accident that I took the photo with the corona truck driving by :)

 Justicia--Carlos' closest buddy in Mexico.  She keeps him semi-entertained when he's there, but I wasn't a huge fan...she was a jealous girl and tried to eat my feet whenever I walked outside.

 We went out to eat one night with the lawyers.  This bar/restaurant seemed to cater mostly to Americans and had a live band that played outdated "rock n' roll"  :)

 In Guanajuato again

 Guanajuato

 This is the entrance to the library at the kindergarten that Carlos has Sage signed up for--he is supposed to start this Wednesday :)

 Also at Sage's new school

 Outside the courthouse where the Hague case is being tried

 This is the entrance to the complex where Sage's grandparents live.  This photo of Carlos' lawyer and Ana's father was taken only minutes before he had the security guard call the police

 The narrow cobblestone streets of Guanajuato.  The locals drive through them like it's nothing, but it's pretty nerve-wracking if you're not used to it

The Leon/Guanajuato Airport

I was hoping to be able to post more pictures, but for obvious reasons, we did not want to put up pictures of Carlos' "residence" in Mexico.  Hopefully these give you a general idea of where things are happening.

Reflecting on the Trip

Here it is, less than two days after I returned home from my trip to Mexico...I was picked up by my husband at the airport, and we met my mother with the children at Barnes and Noble yesterday afternoon.  I'm back in the comfort and familiarity of my own home, and getting ready for the end of summer and a new school year to start.  Next week, I go back to work and the start of a fairly busy month compared to my usual schedule.  I'm thinking about fall cleaning, meal plans, bills, homework, school supplies and play dates, not only with the usual sense of monotony that might characterize the end of an international trip and a return to the status quo, but after this trip, also with the realization that this "monotony" is exactly what my brother is fighting so hard to achieve.  Despite the fact that his existence in Mexico is characterized by its own unique sort of tediousness and "more of the same," it does not afford him the intense type of gratification that a well-tuned-in parent feels each day as they are allowed to make decisions and choices that they know will instill a sense of security, of being loved, and of right and wrong in their children for the rest of their lives. 

As parents, we all have moments where we reminisce about our younger days when we were "free" and able to see the world without the constraints of worrying about how our choices will affect our childrens' futures, but we also know that the world is not a perfect place, we can't have it all, and given the choice, we'd choose our kids in a heartbeat again.  My brother has sacrificed everything else in order to choose Sage, and he makes the same sacrifice and the same choice every single minute of every single day that he is fighting for his son.  He has all but lost his identity as an individual, been forced to sacrifice his concerns for his own future, and takes risks to his health, his safety, and his livelihood each and every day, in order to pursue whatever path he must to be able to enjoy all the "monotony" of school plays, bedtime, homework, grocery shopping, cooking a balanced meal when he's not, himself, even hungry, answering the question "why?" to infinity and beyond, and winter sledding trips.  But this all continues to be denied him.  Instead, this is a typical day for Carlos:

1.) wake up earlier than his body...having gotten little sleep the night before due to worrying about his job, the outcome of a pending motion, what his son is being taught, and his own safety...wants him to.
2.) Start working on his job, if he's able at that particular time, or, get ready for a day of traveling either to/from the States, or to/all over/around/from court, visits, or other meetings in Salamanca where Sage is living, either of which will generally eat up an entire day.
3.) If a visit is scheduled, he generally drives the 1 1/2 hours to where it is more convenient for Ana, only to once again find they have not shown up, and then spends time collecting evidence of the missed visit to submit to the courts.
4.) Lately he has been attending meetings/orientations, etc. for the new school Sage is supposed to start at on Wednesday.
5.) If this all doesn't sound like much, consider that where he is staying when in Mexico lacks numerous of the conveniences to which most of us are accustomed.  His "home" has very poor water pressure, so a shower takes about twice as long; water used for cooking, drinking, or brushing his teeth all has to be bottled; laundry has to be picked up/dropped off or taken to a laundromat, internet service is very poor, so anything that has to be done online, including his job, takes longer, he has consistently had to deal with bouts of "food illness" due to the differences in bacteria in the area and different standards of food preparation; and, well, he is alone.  He has nobody to whom he can lament when things get to be too much for him, nobody to take his mind off of the despondency and desperation he struggles with constantly, that simmer just below that exterior of "doing what he has to do."  I was there for ten days and I will admit that even I needed to call and speak to my children and husband almost everyday.  At night, when all struggles and anxieties tend to show their teeth a little bit more, I spent many hours waiting for the daylight to break, despite my exhaustion from the day's events.

All in all, as I sit here at my computer, curled up into my sofa, with my children safely in bed, my husband at the store buying some pepto bismol (it appears that my system didn't entirely rid itself of the Mexican bug in Mexico after all), and the sense of calm that comes from being in a place you've pretty much known your entire life, I continue to playback in my head, over and over, the last hug, and the "goodbye" I exchanged with my brother only a couple days ago in Mexico.  How at that time I would have given anything for him to have been boarding the plane with me...to return home to his family, to safety, and to the support system he has here in the U.S., but how I also knew that without Sage, that would never happen.  His trips back to the U.S. will remain exclusively for the purpose of work until this case is over, and I suppose that is how it should be.  As much as I love him, his family loves him, and we want to know he is safe and okay, Sage needs him, and I have to accept that.  I just pray that the day comes very soon when Sage will know the truth about why his daddy had to miss so many years, so many birthdays, and so many tears when all he wanted was to be there.

With that being said, I have to call on my own reserves of strength to continue to fight this fight with Carlos as much as I am able from home.  For him, it is a daily, hourly battle, and he will never tire of our words of encouragement, no matter how helpless they may seem to us as we repeat them over and over.  We need to continue to put pressure on our own government to take these cases as seriously as they are, and to provide the same kind of assistance they provided the California U.S. Representative recently, which brought his grandchildren home in less than three days after they were located in Mexico.  All Left-behind parents deserve the backing of their own government to bring their children home.  Please continue to encourage your own U.S. Representative to co-sponsor H.R. 1940, in order to help Carlos and all American LBP's be reunited with their children. 

Finally, I would like to point out the new paypal account I have opened in Carlos' name.  Any amount you might be able to donate, at any time, will help, and be greatly appreciated.  Carlos has spent over $75,000 so far in his attempt to bring Sage home, and is finding it difficult to continue to afford the continuous high expenses, just when things are actually starting to look promising.  If you are able, please find the paypal link to the right of this page and click to donate.  Money will be used to help pay for Sage's new school costs so that he can begin learning English, for a social worker required to attend Carlos' visits so that he may spend time with Sage, for legal fees, travel expenses, and for basic expenses like gas, tolls, and food on his daily trips back and forth.

As always, thank you for your support, and please continue to follow with us.
--Sonia

Countdown to Home...

I've stated several times now that this trip has been fairly exhausting for me (although I must try not to complain too much about that, because for me it has been 8 days...my brother deals with the same day in and day out when in Mexico).  As I near the end of my stay and the impending LONG trip home, I find myself experiencing both great excitement at the thought of reuniting with my children, husband, and home, and also great sadness that I will no longer be able to see my brother each day and know that he is okay.  Up until now, we have seen him at least once every year when either he comes to visit or I find a reason to travel to N.C. and see him.  Now, however, as his legal pursuit for the return of his son continues to drain him financially, I know that the trips he takes will be limited to those necessary to do his job and to see his son.  As time goes on and this case drags on, I begin to realize that he is forever lost to us...lost to any semblance of a normal existence...lost to who he himself truly is, until he is satisfactorily re-united with Sage.  As a sister who loves her brother, knowing this makes saying goodbye to get back on a plane and fly hundreds of miles away from him again, just as hard as saying goodbye to my estranged nephew was a few days ago.  At the same time, I know my brother is brave, strong, intelligent, and self-sufficient, and if anybody can make it through what he's going through, he can...

And now, today's events:

Today was spent almost solely in Salamanca.  We drove the approximately 1-1.5 hours from San Miguel this morning to go to the new school that Sage is now enrolled in, and picked up all of his school materials for the beginning of the year.  After spending quite some time at the courthouse to submit documents showing that Carlos had made the payments to enroll Sage, we drove to the town's "centro," or downtown area, where currently, Wednesday visits are supposed to take place.  Naively, we were actually slightly more hopeful that they would show up this time, as they knew that it was my last opportunity to see Sage before leaving the country.  Of course, about a half hour after we arrived, Carlos received a text message stating that Sage still couldn't leave the house due to his "sickness."  This time, Carlos decided he would take a cue from his lawyers and we would just drive over to the house...after all, sickness keeps a child from school, not from his parents.
This was the first time Carlos had been to the neighborhood of Sage's grandparents.  When we arrived, we walked up to the gate as I had with the lawyers two times before.  Almost as if they had been watching for us, Ana's parents came out into the yard pretty much immediately.  I had started out recording, but Carlos decided to trust that it would be okay to talk briefly without the camera when Sage's dad semi-requested it, so I turned it off.  To make a long (about 2-3 hours) story short, we sat in the front yard and had a civil--meaning there was no real arguing taking place--conversation.  Again, being that it was mostly in Spanish, some I understood on my own, some I had Carlos translate, some I was able to deduce, and some was lost in translation or not explained to me until later.  For the most part, however, it was a lot of the same conversation that I had had with Ana's father a few days ago; things like, how dealing without the lawyers is a much better way to handle the case, how everybody wants Sage to know all of his family, but how he's really adapted to Mexico and is always with his mom, etc.  Ana's mother even suggested at one point that Carlos just allow Sage to get older, and that she promised they would tell him who his father was.  Ana's father suggested that we trust that he is the head of that household and his daughter listens to him, and so why couldn't we just come to an agreement stating that Sage comes to the U.S. for holidays, etc.  I held onto this particular idea for much of the conversation, knowing I had the perfect opportunity to test it out.  As we were sitting and talking, Sage was inside the house with his mom and the rest of her family.  He was sleeping in the beginning of the visit, but I had asked early on if we could please see him again before I go, and that I would really like to have a picture of Sage, Carlos, and myself to take home.  After sitting and listening for most of the conversation, I asked her father, "so, may we see Sage before leaving?" He stated that he would go talk to Ana.  When he returned, he stated that she'd said no.  Carlos wasn't really surprised, but entirely frustrated, I asked him to translate this question to her father: "you say that you have influence with your daughter, and that we should stop with all of the legal actions and deal between families, but I am here for two more days, sitting right outside his door, and you can't negotiate a quick visit between Sage, his father, and his aunt?"  This is why it's entirely necessary that the lawyers, the judge, and the legal system are involved...the lack of trust was built by Ana, and as time goes on it only becomes more and more difficult to trust her actions and intentions.  My last chance to see Sage, to see him with his daddy, and just like that it was gone.
After that, listening to anything more was essentially impossible.  Words and promises have to translate into actions for them to mean anything when it is a parent-child relationship at stake, and it was apparent that this was not going to happen tonight.  After a few more minutes, I stood up, and said in Spanish, "Senor y Senora, with all respect, it is too difficult for me to stand here knowing that I won't be able to see Sage again before I leave, so thank you, but I'll be waiting over in the car." Carlos was also ready to leave. We walked back to the car, and as we drove away, I mulled over how congenial it had all been, but also how pointless, and that they leave my brother with no choice but to continue the path he is currently on.

My dear, sweet Sage, I was right outside your door tonight, from thousands of miles away.  I wanted to talk about your Kung Fu Panda some more, and to watch you light up your father's soul.  The more time that goes by, the more your mother and family here consent to the distortion of your emotional bond with your father--whom has always loved you dearly.  I did not get to see you tonight, and now will not for only God knows how long, but I am loving you like you were right here, and praying for justice.  Until we meet again....

Love,
Aunt Sonia

Three Minutes of Heaven

So in my last post, I alluded to a new development that was so important it deserved its own post, and here it is...

Yesterday evening, after an exhausting day of court visits, school visits, sitting in the sun, and riding in the car, and after almost four whole years, I FINALLY WRAPPED MY ARMS AROUND MY VERY BEAUTIFUL NEPHEW, SAGE!!!!  Although I'd had no time to prepare for it, as I had begun trying to accept that I may not be able to see him before returning to the U.S., and although it was far too short, the approximately three minutes I got to spend with Sage were wonderful.  This is how it happened:

Yesterday was supposed to be one of the regularly scheduled visits between Carlos and Sage.  Knowing Ana was still claiming that Sage was sick, and that the new visitation schedule wasn't fully in effect yet, and knowing he absolutely needed some time to work on his job, Carlos stayed home to work while his lawyers and I drove to Salamanca.  From about 9am to about 9pm we were either driving in the car or going to various places across the city where the lawyers had to do work on the case.  The actual visitation was supposed to take place at Sage's swimming lesson, but when we arrived there earlier in the day to turn in some paperwork, we were informed that in order to avoid visitation, Ana had pulled Sage from classes at the pool.  Not long after, the lawyer received a text message from Ana stating that Sage was still sick and that he was not allowed to go out, so she would not attend a visit.  Being the unconventional lawyers that they are, they decided that we should drive over to her parent's house to confirm this supposed prolonged reaction to a vaccination.

When we arrived, the lawyer went up to the gate and rang the bell.  I was standing with him, and about a minute later Sage's grandfather opened the door, saw the lawyer, and immediately closed it again.  About a minute later, he reemerged and headed over to the security booth at the front of the housing community to basically have us removed.  As he, the lawyer, and the guard stood around debating (in Spanish, so my understanding was limited), I recorded much of the conversation.  When the lawyer took the camera from me I began to speak to Ana's father, stating that I was Sage's aunt from the U.S. and that I was here with the sole purpose of seeing my nephew after four long years.  At first, he ignored me, then after awhile, he began speaking to me in Spanish about how my brother just needed to stop going through the lawyers and deal with him basically.  It was a lot of the same rhetoric he had given my brother in the past, but it was obvious he was hoping I would maybe be the one to convince Carlos that the lawyers are unneccesary, and they can come to some sort of agreement on their own man-to-man.  I listened for quite some time, understanding some, and responding to what I could.  In this particular case, the conversation itself wasn't that important to me, what was was maybe being able to see my nephew.  And to my surprise, he eventually conditionally agreed to let me, but not the lawyers, walk over to his yard to see Sage.

When we got to the front yard I sat in a lawn chair, and listened for another good 20 minutes to what he wanted me to hear before allowing me the privilege to see my nephew.  He went into the house and discussed who-knows-what with who-knows-who, and after about three minutes, he walked back out, and next to him, I was staring at this gorgeous little boy, whom for so long I'd been able to see only in pictures, and it was like I was looking at a long-lost miniature Carlos David Bermudez.  I wanted nothing less than to snatch him up onto my lap and hug and kiss him and tell him all about his father and American family, but as you can imagine, it could never have happened that way.  Sage was obviously nervous, the likes of which would not be terribly uncommon for a four-year old meeting a relative stranger they weren't prepared for, but add to that the language barrier, the tension in the house when it was said that I was waiting outside to see him, and the alienation that has taken place for so long between he, his father, and our family, and I knew I had only minutes with him before he was again out of my sight.  Ana's parents were both standing there while we talked, but I said to him in Spanish:
"Hi Sage.  I'm your aunt from the United States, and the sister of your father, Carlos." "I haven't been able to see you in a long time, but I want you to know that I love you, and that I, your other grandma, your cousins, and your aunts/uncles in the U.S. miss you very much." I could tell he didn't know what to say, so I said to him, "I brought you some things from your family," and after pulling out a talking Kung-Fu panda doll I said to him, "your father, Carlos, told me that you like Kung Fu Panda...look, this one talks..." I pushed the button, and as he heard it talk he got a quick smile on this face before sitting down to look at it.  Then, I got him out his other toys, crayons, etc. and talked briefly about those.  While he looked at them all, I just stared at him, telling him how handsome he was, and that when he was a baby he and his parents had come to visit me at my house.  When I could feel it was time to go, based on the limited invitation I was given to be there, I told him that I would have to go back to the U.S. soon, but that I hoped that he would come to see me, send me pictures, and that I couldn't wait to see him again.  I asked him if I could give him a hug, and he very reluctantly agreed.  As I wrapped my arms around him, the tangibility of that moment was very hard to let go of, and very surreal.  I kissed him on the cheek, and said goodbye to him.  As I walked away feeling elated and heartbroken at the same time, I felt angry that his grandfather had so strongly opposed pictures in his agreement to let me walk over.  What I wouldn't give to have a picture of us together after all this time...

And so, here I am, feeling mildly satisfied that I was able to see him at least once before returning, but praying I will get the chance again before Saturday, and wanting more than ever for him to come home, where we will all be waiting...

Love to Sage,
Your Aunt, Tia Sonia

P.S.  He didn't look sick ;)

More Mexico Updates

I know...I said I was going to go to bed, but I had a bit of espresso this evening so, here goes:

As I stated in my last post, a lot has happened since I arrived in Mexico, and as I've hardly had a minute to think, let alone process it all, the chronology has sort of gotten blurred...I hope I don't leave out any major details, but aside from court on August 12th, these are the main developments since the reopening of the courts:

1.)  A new visitation schedule was created--this is explained in the Aug. 12 posting.

2.)  No date is yet set for the next hearing.  Had it not been for the stalling tactic of Ana and her lawyers to request the submission of new evidence in the form of her "witnesses," the hearing would likely have been decided on already.  It's unfortunate that this was allowed, as it was really already supposed to be too late to submit new evidence, but chances are that if Carlos and his lawyers are able to appear for cross-examination, it will end up working in their favor, as was the case with her previous "witnesses," who had trusted she'd had her lies straight before asking them to testify.  Even if it doesn't serve to help them in any way, the most that they will be able to testify is that they've known Sage, he's lived with his mom while in Mexico, and he's "happy"...usual parental abduction stuff.

3.)  For some time now, Ana has been claiming that she's living with her parents in Salamanca.  Over the last several months, however, she's also been claiming that she's driving Sage everyday to a school in Celaya, about 45 minutes away.  Due to several previous incidents, comments made by Sage, etc., Carlos and his lawyers believe that she is actually now living in Celaya and not documenting this with the court.  After doing some research, it was determined that there would be no good reason for her to drive Sage that far for school everyday, as the schools are no better and maybe worse, the highways are naturally dangerous when driven back and forth everyday, and the time it would take there and back would be exhausting for a 4-year old boy who has been in school all day.  Up until this point there has been no easy way to prove Ana's false address, but as we were heading to the prosecutor's office a few days ago, we happened to drive by an elementary school that teaches both Spanish and English.  Intrigued by the idea of killing two birds with one stone (determining the reality of Sage's living conditions, and also ensuring that he learn his native language in a good school), we looked into it and found that it was also the best school in Salamanca.  So, Sage is now signed up for school there, to start this fall, and a motion put into the court that Ana is required to keep Sage in the school.  We should hear the judge's reaction to this request soon, but Carlos and I attended an orientation for the school this evening, and it seems that IF this goes through, Carlos will be able to attend school functions for Sage just as often as Ana does.

4.)  The final very specific development that has come about in my now 7 days here deserves its own post, so for now, I bid you goodnight, or as I've said many times here in Mexico...buenas noches :)

--Sonia

Return to Court

August 12 was the long anticipated return to court, and a continuation to the visitation hearings that had been going on prior to the court's break.  As most of you know, I have traveled to Mexico with the hope of being able to provide some tangible support, and to see Carlos and Sage.  I arrived on August 9th and have been running all over the state since.  The day after I arrived, my brother's lawyers and I drove to the city of Salamanca to attempt to attend a scheduled visit with Sage, despite the fact that Ana had blown off every single visit after the court's closing.  It was a disappointment, but no real surprise when she didn't show.  Not wanting to waste the trip, the lawyers took me to the court to meet the judge.  We were introduced, and I was asked to explain who I was and what I was requesting.  I explained to him that I had not seen Sage in almost four years, and that my primary concerns at that very moment were attending the hearing on the 12th, and being able to see Sage prior to returning to the U.S.  The judge agreed to let me attend the hearing, but stated that I could attend the regular visits with Carlos.  Carlos' lawyer proceeded to tell him that Ana had been skipping visits, which he probably should have already known, and we left knowing that court would be my first real opportunity to see my nephew.  Much of the next few days was spent getting to know Carlos' lawyers and some of the area, and accompanying the lawyers and my brother on their MANY trips to file requests at the court and address other aspects of the case.

August 12th, and the hearing where the judge was going to clean the floors with Ana, and I was going to see my nephew, finally arrived.  I got my picture album and toys ready for Sage, and we got to the courthouse at 10:00 a.m.  Not too long after, we were sitting in the courtroom: the transcriber, the judge, my brother's lawyers, myself and Carlos, Ana, her lawyer, the ministerio publico (Ana's secret 2nd lawyer), and a representative from child and family services.  During the three or so hours that the hearing lasted, three things were going through my head:

1.) where is Sage?
2.) how am I supposed to be expected to sit quietly in the same room with this evil woman, whom had acted so sweet the last time I saw her, and then kidnapped my nephew? and
3.) what is going on?????

Unfortunately, as I have a only a minute grasp of the language, much was lost on me except for bits and pieces, along with the distinct feeling that there was going to be no floor cleaning today, and Sage wasn't coming.  As I sat there with my heart sinking, and the Mexican heat closing in on me, I felt a keen awareness of the painful build up/let down, build up/let down, baby steps, let down that my brother has been enduring for over three years now.  All this time, from the psychological safety of my own home and responsibilities, I've been responding to the stories of disappointment and frustratingly small wins/time-consuming fails, by expressing my sincere shock over how there was any question of what the right decision was.  Sitting in the courtroom, where respect for the judge, respect for the lawyers, respect for everyone is the usual battle cry, I fully realized that this is what there is for my brother.  He has the best lawyers in the state, and from my standpoint, anywhere really; he turned over heaven and earth to be able to travel back and forth to Mexico for court and to see Sage; he beats himself up with the stress and a tireless schedule to keep his momentum; and most importantly, he has the TRUTH, yet, all of this feels meaningless at this place, at this time, and for the foreseeable future.  I got the distinct sense that even though we were in a court of law, justice was not the order of the day, as the reality remains that it if he gets his son back, it may very well still take years to happen.  He continues to struggle with judges who feel it is more their job to make the whole world a little bit happy, than to lay down the law as it's written, and as I observed the gestures of those in the room, I saw first-hand the nods in agreement of all Ana had to say by the "unbiased" prosecutor that was there as "Sage's representative."

And so, it was another confirmation of the LBP/family's hard-learned lesson that without a functioning Hague Convention, or a similar piece of International legislation in place that is backed by the governments of all LBP's (not just those who happen to work for the government), there is little hope for a timely recovery, and the guarantee of a long and difficult road for the left-behind parents/families.

Once court let out and we all got our bearings, my brother confirmed that my sense regarding the tone of the hearing was basically correct.  Several items that were supposed to be discussed were not, and there were no repercussions for Ana for skipping out on visits or for failing to bring Sage to court (she claimed he was sick).  Prior to the court's closing in July, Ana was allowed to submit request for new "witnesses" to testify.  The request was affirmed, and is now basically the main wedge keeping the door open on this first level of the Hague trial.  Because these friends of Ana's happen to live in another city about 45 minutes from Salamanca, and they couldn't possibly make the trip to testify in this court, we are awaiting a date for them to testify in their hometown.  If Carlos and his lawyers are notified of the date and place ahead of time, they can attend for cross examination, but this information has not been made available to them as of now, and there has been no time limit set for when it must take place.

The good news, or the "little bit of happy" that Carlos got to take away from the hearing however, was that a new visitation schedule was created, this time allowing Carlos 7 hours with Sage on Saturdays, and one other visit during the week.  The visits have to take place in view of child/family services at their office, but Ana can't be within 20 meters of Carlos and Sage.  The judge informed her that from this point forward, if Ana fails to bring Sage to visits he can impose fines, and/or file criminal charges against her. While I admit that this is wonderful in that it will hopefully allow Carlos to finally attempt to rekindle the bond between father and son,  it's also impossible to deny the fact that the person they're really treating as the defendant in this case is Carlos, rather than the woman who committed the crime of abduction, and stole three years of Sage's relationship with his father, which can never be returned.  Ana spends day and night with Sage, without restriction, and without supervision, and now, after all this time, Carlos gets to try to foster a relationship with his alienated son in the presence of a social worker and in the confines of an unfamiliar building.  But this is what it's like for the left-behind parent...take what you can get...the abductor gets to call the shots.

I'm sorry it's taken this long to update, but this was what happened in court on August 12.  I realize I have many more days to blog before I get caught up, but my eyes are drooping, and the days and nights seem to blur into the next here.  I will try to get some sleep tonight, and straighten things out a bit before my next post...more to come tomorrow :)

Thank you all for your continued support...and for your patience :)
--Sonia

Another Picture for Sage

Love,

Uncle (Tio) Evan, Aunt (Tia) Sonia, Grandma (Abuela) Diane, and your cousins (primas) Andie, Kera, and Sonia

Photo Album for Sage--bringing this to Mexico

But in case it gets "lost," here's a digital copy :) (sorry about all the photos that uploaded sideways!)