Hi guys and gals,
I don't have a ton to report in this update, as Carlos' phone connection has been poor, and he has a tendency to be less wordy than I in his emails (and far less than I'd like when I want to update :) ) Still, things have been happening, and I want to stay on top of it as much as possible. So...
A few things.
1.) The Hague Convention hearings continue, and Carlos was in court again this past Tuesday. This time, it was his turn to be cross-examined by the very biased prosecutor, as well as Ana's attorneys. Fortunately, cross-examination isn't nearly as tough when one is actually telling the truth, and has been from the get-go...there are no "stories" to remember, just facts :) Plus, for those of you who know my brother, he's pretty clever under pressure ;) All I know as far as details from this day in court is that it went VERY WELL from Carlos' perspective, and he felt good about it afterwards. I'm still expecting this trial will be over soon, but I did hear that the judge is allowing Ana to bring in a few more "witnesses" from other towns. In Carlos' opinion, this may very well be to his benefit, as her witnesses up to this point have only served to weaken her case, and it lessens the chance that she will be able to file an appeal based on missed opportunities after a decision is made. More on this when I actually nail him down for some info...
2.) Visitation with Sage has been hit or miss recently. At one of Carlos' recent visits with Sage, they played, as they usually do, but instead of calling him Carlos as he has been, Sage kept referring to him as "Martin." After a couple of times, Carlos asked him gently, "do you have a friend named Martin?" To this question, Sage reacted with a bit of trepidation, as though he didn't know what he was supposed to say, but it wouldn't have mattered because Ana wouldn't have given him the chance to respond anyway. She immediately blurted out that "he knows lots of Martins...he has two in his class, one here, one there...Martins are everywhere"...(okay, so maybe she didn't say it quite like that, but you get the point). For those of you that don't know the whole story, or can't recall the significance of the name, "Martin," this was the name of Ana's paramour, with whom she had been having an affair when she was in N.C., and with whom she subsequently took Sage to stay in the dangerous border town of Nogales, Mexico, while still feigning a normal marriage to my brother.
3.) Ana now has a track record of completely skipping out on scheduled visitations for Carlos and Sage. Last night, Carlos was driving home (later than what this sister considers safe there <3 ) from a missed visit for which he drives 1 1/2 hours to attend. Evidence for this was submitted to the courts (maybe today?).
We'll see what happens with that.
4.) My car decal should be here tomorrow...will post pics!
5.) Still hoping for a trip to Mexico in the next couple months...waiting for my passport to arrive :)
Have a good night all. More updates when available. And, as always, thanks for your support!!
--Sonia
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Dear Sage, this is your daddy...
My dear, sweet nephew, Sage:
It is my sincerest hope and prayer that you return to the U.S. soon to be with your daddy, and to finally get to know your aunts, uncles, cousins, and Grandma who have missed you for so long. I truly wish I could say that this is the only outcome I even ponder, but the reality is that I don't know what will happen, and I know that for many parents and children, justice has not been served, and the years continue to pass. One thing I do know, in my heart of hearts however, is that no matter what happens today or tomorrow, someday you will come to know the truth about what has been happening for the last three years, and about why your daddy hasn't been able to be with you, despite his heart aching to do just that every single minute of every single day. I don't need to explain to you why this has come to be, there is plenty of documentation of that should you decide you need to know (the internet is a beautiful thing in that way, as no matter how many lies somebody tells, they cannot hide the truth when it has been carefully documented online, as yours has). I created this blog because I want to help your father, my brother, bring you home, but I also created it for you, so that no matter how old you are, and no matter where you end up, you will always know of your father's love and of his fight to be with you, and so that you will know that all of our doors, arms, and hearts will forever be open to you.
I am your aunt, and your dad is my twin brother :) I have so many stories I could share, and will when I finally see you, of our lives growing up together. Although we didn't always get along, as is often the case between brothers and sisters, I recall that most of our arguments were silly rather than serious ones (we both liked to tease the other, and often did. Your dad, when we were kids, would refuse to get in the backseat of the car, and even if it was my or your aunt Sara's turn to sit in the front, he would not get in unless he could sit there--your poor grandma would just sort of give us that pleading look that said, "please, I just need something to go smoothly today"). Despite the silly fights, I have always looked up to my brother.
From the time we were young children, he was sort of forced reluctantly into the role of "man of the house" to all of us women, as that role was lost on our father. At that time, his bravado sometimes exceeded his physical ability to match it, but he still tried with all his might to be what he thought our mother needed him to be. As we got older, the aberrations of our father became too big for our mother's good example to overcome completely, and each of us made our fair share of mistakes as we struggled to cope with all we had seen for so many years prior, and to determine how to convert those experiences from painful memories into positive life lessons. Eventually, your dad decided to move to Florida (where our father had moved) to finish school, perhaps in part to either decry or confirm for good what seemed like our father's ultimate lack of concern for his own children. I'm sure he has his own stories to share from that experience, but for me, I simply remember how his absence left a void that wasn't able to be filled by anyone else. Mostly, I missed my brother, but I also envied his independence, his self-sufficiency, and his strength, as this was a period of time when he was truly discovering, and redefining, himself.
Your father has always been a good person, but I never could have imagined the father he would turn out to be until he had you. Although he'd had no real example of a father himself, from the moment you were born, being your father completed him in a way that only another parent can really understand. He became for you everything that he'd missed out on in his own childhood and more, and loved you from head to toe. On your one visit to Michigan with your mom and dad, when you were five months old, I was surprised at just how much you were in his arms, and delighted at how much he adored you. When you left for Mexico several months later, it took me awhile to realize just how much his heart had broken...the only way I can describe it, is that it was equal in intensity to the fullness of his heart when you were around. Three years later, his heartache has not abated. If anything, he has simply become used to living with the pain as he continues to fight for his right to be with you, and I know he will never give up until that either happens, or you know the truth.
No matter how long, or how difficult, or how much distance between you or us, your father, and the rest of your family, will always be waiting for you to come home. We love you, Sage.
Lots of love,
your Aunt Sonia
It is my sincerest hope and prayer that you return to the U.S. soon to be with your daddy, and to finally get to know your aunts, uncles, cousins, and Grandma who have missed you for so long. I truly wish I could say that this is the only outcome I even ponder, but the reality is that I don't know what will happen, and I know that for many parents and children, justice has not been served, and the years continue to pass. One thing I do know, in my heart of hearts however, is that no matter what happens today or tomorrow, someday you will come to know the truth about what has been happening for the last three years, and about why your daddy hasn't been able to be with you, despite his heart aching to do just that every single minute of every single day. I don't need to explain to you why this has come to be, there is plenty of documentation of that should you decide you need to know (the internet is a beautiful thing in that way, as no matter how many lies somebody tells, they cannot hide the truth when it has been carefully documented online, as yours has). I created this blog because I want to help your father, my brother, bring you home, but I also created it for you, so that no matter how old you are, and no matter where you end up, you will always know of your father's love and of his fight to be with you, and so that you will know that all of our doors, arms, and hearts will forever be open to you.
I am your aunt, and your dad is my twin brother :) I have so many stories I could share, and will when I finally see you, of our lives growing up together. Although we didn't always get along, as is often the case between brothers and sisters, I recall that most of our arguments were silly rather than serious ones (we both liked to tease the other, and often did. Your dad, when we were kids, would refuse to get in the backseat of the car, and even if it was my or your aunt Sara's turn to sit in the front, he would not get in unless he could sit there--your poor grandma would just sort of give us that pleading look that said, "please, I just need something to go smoothly today"). Despite the silly fights, I have always looked up to my brother.
From the time we were young children, he was sort of forced reluctantly into the role of "man of the house" to all of us women, as that role was lost on our father. At that time, his bravado sometimes exceeded his physical ability to match it, but he still tried with all his might to be what he thought our mother needed him to be. As we got older, the aberrations of our father became too big for our mother's good example to overcome completely, and each of us made our fair share of mistakes as we struggled to cope with all we had seen for so many years prior, and to determine how to convert those experiences from painful memories into positive life lessons. Eventually, your dad decided to move to Florida (where our father had moved) to finish school, perhaps in part to either decry or confirm for good what seemed like our father's ultimate lack of concern for his own children. I'm sure he has his own stories to share from that experience, but for me, I simply remember how his absence left a void that wasn't able to be filled by anyone else. Mostly, I missed my brother, but I also envied his independence, his self-sufficiency, and his strength, as this was a period of time when he was truly discovering, and redefining, himself.
Your father has always been a good person, but I never could have imagined the father he would turn out to be until he had you. Although he'd had no real example of a father himself, from the moment you were born, being your father completed him in a way that only another parent can really understand. He became for you everything that he'd missed out on in his own childhood and more, and loved you from head to toe. On your one visit to Michigan with your mom and dad, when you were five months old, I was surprised at just how much you were in his arms, and delighted at how much he adored you. When you left for Mexico several months later, it took me awhile to realize just how much his heart had broken...the only way I can describe it, is that it was equal in intensity to the fullness of his heart when you were around. Three years later, his heartache has not abated. If anything, he has simply become used to living with the pain as he continues to fight for his right to be with you, and I know he will never give up until that either happens, or you know the truth.
No matter how long, or how difficult, or how much distance between you or us, your father, and the rest of your family, will always be waiting for you to come home. We love you, Sage.
Lots of love,
your Aunt Sonia
 |
| Your dad, Carlos, and your aunt Sonia |
Monday, June 27, 2011
There are some things no one can take away...
Father's day visit they arrived a half hour late and told me that it would only be for 30 min instead of the two hours agreed to in court (I drive an hour and half to get here.) I said that was fine, deciding not to argue the point until I had at least had my half hour. I ended up getting to visit for an hour and half, most likely because I brought my lawyer that day. These are the pictures he took.
Every boy likes a sword fight...
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But Sage decided to fight dirty and use two swords and my sidekick Justicia came to help me...
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...but Justicia was not fast enough
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...but they are always watching..
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And the Warden isn't pleased....
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Me and my lawyers after waiting an hour for one of several visits that did not occur (this time at Sage's swimming lesson.)
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Every boy likes a sword fight...
Well.. if he wanted to play dirty...
We decided to call a truce...
Friday, June 24, 2011
Update 6/24/11
I spoke to Carlos again two days ago. The main update I had to give after that call was that he was still in court, he was sounding better physically and emotionally, and I also wanted to provide another example of how Sage's mother continues to try and alienate him from his father. I will quickly tell that short story, and then am copying an email sent by my brother this morning...it's long, but you'll want to read it :)
First, parental alienation:
About three weeks ago, when Carlos first began getting visits with his son, he brought him a Batman bike as a gift. Of course, Sage loved it and was the envy of his buddies for the day :), but when Carlos saw Sage again last week, he asked Sage if he'd been riding his bike. Sage replied that he couldn't, that his mom had told him "Carlos" had taken the "key" away so he couldn't ride it, and when Carlos asked him what key he was talking about Sage said, "she's right over there, go ask her." He said it multiple times as if he wanted to see who was telling him the truth. Carlos is extremely sensitive to Sage's feelings and level of comfort at these visits, and these things never turn into arguments on his end because of it, but it must still be so confusing to Sage. We all know kid's bicycles don't require keys...it just breaks my heart the lengths this selfish woman will go to to keep Sage from his father...
And now, my brother's email:
"In January My wife filed an inappropriate amparo/appeal that should
have been summarily dismissed and, with the help of a friend of hers
that is a secretary of the court, had all the court documents sent to
another court so that the court that was supposed to hear the new
Hague case, incorrectly, wouldn't allow the new trial to begin for
five months.
Before coming to Mexico I switched to a new law local law firm that I
was impressed with who, as it turns out, is one of the best in the
state. We went before the various courts and filed a long series of
our own motions, appeals, amparos and complaints and got the court
documents sent back to the lower court and the secretary reprimanded
and removed the case.
The new judge, himself embarrassed about the long delay that his court
played a role in, began the new Hague case treating it like a real
Hague case. He scheduled a single hearing to do the entire trial but
we spent the whole day interviewing new witnesses that my wife
presented to testify to how well adjust and happy Sage was in Mexico.
He scheduled another day to finish a couple days later and we spent
that whole day going over pictures I submitted into evidence. Another
whole day was spent going over the videos I submitted. Each time we
couldn't finish he scheduled another hearing for within days to try to
finish again. Yesterday we spent the day doing the cross-examination
of my wife. Between the fact that I have a brilliant attorney taking
the lead on the case, with his firm behind him, at the fact that my
wife has now spent three years lying all over the place. I know,
almost verbatim, what she has said where, what the evidence says and
when it contradicts her or she contradicts herself.
She was completely destroyed during questioning. Not even half way
through even I was cringing and feeling bad for her. I was thinking
the judge might have her arrested at the end for what could only be
called blatant fraud. She starting by denying on the stand that she
was a US resident, that she had a US Social Security Number and that
she had a NC drivers license. We also asked her all the same
questions from the first trial and she reversed over half of her
answers from it (in Mexico all questions, aka "positions," must be
formulated as true/false statements for the witness to confirm or
deny.)
Then, when we started using evidence she submitted herself in various
amparos (specifically a Mexican Birth Certificate that she requested
and received from the Mexican Embassy in the US) she denied having
requested the document or any knowledge of it. She denied her
signatures, denied having filed the appeals, denied having gone before
a Mexican Notary Public and having a certified copy of it made and
denied remembering the court actions against which she filed the
amparos (which she won and benefited from.) This after she went to
great lengths with her witnesses and testimony to psychologists, to
claim that she, as a lawyer with a masters degree, had started a law
firm and regularly worked professionally as an attorney in a law firm
that she started (I'm guessing to accredit that her career was in
Mexico and she had the means to support Sage.)
When questioned about the photos she claimed to have no knowledge of
them and that all 1500 of them, from the time I met my wife, lived
with her, went on vacations, got married, Sage's birth and our trips
with Sage were all fake. The 50 or so videos -- all fake too.
During a meeting in the judges chamber between the judge, my wife and
Sage where Sage was doodling on a piece of a paper I asked Sage if he
could write his name. I wanted the judge to see that she had even
lied to him about his last name to remove my last name (Bermudez.)
Sage couldn't write his last names but he was happy to say them
("Rayon Garcia Gonzales.") When asked about that during official
questioning of her numerous attempts at parental alienation she even
denied that Sage didn't know his real last name.
She made various nationalistic/xenophobic statements about Sage being
"Mexican" (when no one questioned that) which might have played out
well in a court of public opinion, but fell very flat in the court of
law. On several occasions she made references to Sage being "mine" or
"my baby" that, in the context of a custody or abduction case, made it
look like she was considering him to be her personal property, like a
toy that she owned.
When asked about her refusing to allow me to show Sage pictures of his
past she said that she had not done so, but she would because I'd, no
doubt, show him "fake pictures" about a past that I had invented and
only existed in my delusional fantasies. The irony of which, after
the whole court room was literally dumbfounded as to how she had so
blatantly lied about so many things, was incredible.
I knew this portion of the hearing would go badly for her, but I never
could have imagined it could go so spectacularly bad. All the
contradictions in her stories have been pointed out in other appeals
or hearings before. If she had been actually paying attention to the
hearings (instead of just making things up as she goes with her
useless appeal-filing monkey attorneys) she could have made up some
sort of story that tried to explain the inconsistencies, admitted to
not be honest a couple times, and majorly limited the damage. I've
never known my wife to admit that she lied about anything though.
I've even said in the past that I could play a video in front of her
that proved she had lied about something and she still wouldn't admit
to it and she just proved me right. To avoid admitting to any lies
whatsoever she decided to tell huge ridiculous ones.
Her credibility was so totally destroyed before the court that if she
claimed water was wet no one would believe her. My wife, her attorney
and all the witnesses she presented to give testimony all now face the
very real possibility of criminal charges for fraud.
This new Hague case, in the first level court, should be done within
the next two weeks."
First, parental alienation:
About three weeks ago, when Carlos first began getting visits with his son, he brought him a Batman bike as a gift. Of course, Sage loved it and was the envy of his buddies for the day :), but when Carlos saw Sage again last week, he asked Sage if he'd been riding his bike. Sage replied that he couldn't, that his mom had told him "Carlos" had taken the "key" away so he couldn't ride it, and when Carlos asked him what key he was talking about Sage said, "she's right over there, go ask her." He said it multiple times as if he wanted to see who was telling him the truth. Carlos is extremely sensitive to Sage's feelings and level of comfort at these visits, and these things never turn into arguments on his end because of it, but it must still be so confusing to Sage. We all know kid's bicycles don't require keys...it just breaks my heart the lengths this selfish woman will go to to keep Sage from his father...
And now, my brother's email:
"In January My wife filed an inappropriate amparo/appeal that should
have been summarily dismissed and, with the help of a friend of hers
that is a secretary of the court, had all the court documents sent to
another court so that the court that was supposed to hear the new
Hague case, incorrectly, wouldn't allow the new trial to begin for
five months.
Before coming to Mexico I switched to a new law local law firm that I
was impressed with who, as it turns out, is one of the best in the
state. We went before the various courts and filed a long series of
our own motions, appeals, amparos and complaints and got the court
documents sent back to the lower court and the secretary reprimanded
and removed the case.
The new judge, himself embarrassed about the long delay that his court
played a role in, began the new Hague case treating it like a real
Hague case. He scheduled a single hearing to do the entire trial but
we spent the whole day interviewing new witnesses that my wife
presented to testify to how well adjust and happy Sage was in Mexico.
He scheduled another day to finish a couple days later and we spent
that whole day going over pictures I submitted into evidence. Another
whole day was spent going over the videos I submitted. Each time we
couldn't finish he scheduled another hearing for within days to try to
finish again. Yesterday we spent the day doing the cross-examination
of my wife. Between the fact that I have a brilliant attorney taking
the lead on the case, with his firm behind him, at the fact that my
wife has now spent three years lying all over the place. I know,
almost verbatim, what she has said where, what the evidence says and
when it contradicts her or she contradicts herself.
She was completely destroyed during questioning. Not even half way
through even I was cringing and feeling bad for her. I was thinking
the judge might have her arrested at the end for what could only be
called blatant fraud. She starting by denying on the stand that she
was a US resident, that she had a US Social Security Number and that
she had a NC drivers license. We also asked her all the same
questions from the first trial and she reversed over half of her
answers from it (in Mexico all questions, aka "positions," must be
formulated as true/false statements for the witness to confirm or
deny.)
Then, when we started using evidence she submitted herself in various
amparos (specifically a Mexican Birth Certificate that she requested
and received from the Mexican Embassy in the US) she denied having
requested the document or any knowledge of it. She denied her
signatures, denied having filed the appeals, denied having gone before
a Mexican Notary Public and having a certified copy of it made and
denied remembering the court actions against which she filed the
amparos (which she won and benefited from.) This after she went to
great lengths with her witnesses and testimony to psychologists, to
claim that she, as a lawyer with a masters degree, had started a law
firm and regularly worked professionally as an attorney in a law firm
that she started (I'm guessing to accredit that her career was in
Mexico and she had the means to support Sage.)
When questioned about the photos she claimed to have no knowledge of
them and that all 1500 of them, from the time I met my wife, lived
with her, went on vacations, got married, Sage's birth and our trips
with Sage were all fake. The 50 or so videos -- all fake too.
During a meeting in the judges chamber between the judge, my wife and
Sage where Sage was doodling on a piece of a paper I asked Sage if he
could write his name. I wanted the judge to see that she had even
lied to him about his last name to remove my last name (Bermudez.)
Sage couldn't write his last names but he was happy to say them
("Rayon Garcia Gonzales.") When asked about that during official
questioning of her numerous attempts at parental alienation she even
denied that Sage didn't know his real last name.
She made various nationalistic/xenophobic statements about Sage being
"Mexican" (when no one questioned that) which might have played out
well in a court of public opinion, but fell very flat in the court of
law. On several occasions she made references to Sage being "mine" or
"my baby" that, in the context of a custody or abduction case, made it
look like she was considering him to be her personal property, like a
toy that she owned.
When asked about her refusing to allow me to show Sage pictures of his
past she said that she had not done so, but she would because I'd, no
doubt, show him "fake pictures" about a past that I had invented and
only existed in my delusional fantasies. The irony of which, after
the whole court room was literally dumbfounded as to how she had so
blatantly lied about so many things, was incredible.
I knew this portion of the hearing would go badly for her, but I never
could have imagined it could go so spectacularly bad. All the
contradictions in her stories have been pointed out in other appeals
or hearings before. If she had been actually paying attention to the
hearings (instead of just making things up as she goes with her
useless appeal-filing monkey attorneys) she could have made up some
sort of story that tried to explain the inconsistencies, admitted to
not be honest a couple times, and majorly limited the damage. I've
never known my wife to admit that she lied about anything though.
I've even said in the past that I could play a video in front of her
that proved she had lied about something and she still wouldn't admit
to it and she just proved me right. To avoid admitting to any lies
whatsoever she decided to tell huge ridiculous ones.
Her credibility was so totally destroyed before the court that if she
claimed water was wet no one would believe her. My wife, her attorney
and all the witnesses she presented to give testimony all now face the
very real possibility of criminal charges for fraud.
This new Hague case, in the first level court, should be done within
the next two weeks."
Let's hope that this all continues to move quickly, through every level of the court system, so that Sage can finally come home!!
--Sonia
Monday, June 20, 2011
6/20/2011
Hi everyone,
I caught my brother online last night and quickly requested he call for an update if able; a few minutes later the phone rang, and we talked for about 30 minutes about what's been happening. Here's the update:
The very first thing I noticed, which has been bothering me since, was that Carlos actually sounded ill this time--just exhausted and worn down. I asked him if he'd returned to the doctor since we last talked (at that time, he had been complaining about a stomach bug, fever, aches and pains, and a sore tooth, and was put on antibiotics), he said he'd been too busy, and money is tight, but that he was still on the antibiotics...his tooth is still very painful. Worrier as I am, and knowing he should have been much improved by now, I spent much of the rest of the phone call lecturing him to please go back to the doctor or a dentist...I hope he honors my request, as we all know the unfortunate reality is that, sometimes, our health doesn't wait for us to find time to deal with it
The visits with Sage have continued this week, and so have the subtle, and more outward, signs that his mother and her family do not want him to have a relationship with his father. On the first visit, Carlos was a bit late, as he has much farther to travel to accomodate Ana's chosen location for visits than does she. When he got there they had already left. The next day, Carlos was supposed to be going to watch Sage's soccer practice, but was given the wrong location. Finally, yesterday, he was supposed to be allowed 2 1/2 hours with Sage; her family showed up 40 minutes late, and upon arriving (with a new bunny they had just bought for Sage), quickly announced that they could only stay for 30 minutes. Sage has continued to call Carlos by his name since their second visit, where he first appeared unsure of how he was supposed to react. Ana continues to deny "teaching" Sage to call her father "dad." Carlos continues to take whatever he can get.
In the midst of all the visits, court hearings have continued this week re: the Hague case. For those who are unaware of the proceedings that have happened over the last several years, the hearings began in the lower (family) court; Carlos won 3 out of 4, with Ana appealing each time he won. They finally made it to the supreme court, where the judge determined that Sage's individual interests had not been represented, and the case would have to go back to the family court...this is where they are now (perhaps this time, the four-year old child (who was only 2 the first time around) will be allowed to voice his own four-year-old opinion regarding the outcome of the hearing (what do you all think that will be?????)
On the first day of the trial, Ana's lawyer introduced some new "witnesses," who basically just testified that Sage was adjusted and happy there. This was allowed despite the fact that it was totally irrelevant to the Hague proceedings (as many of you know, or may recall, this is a common tactic used by abducting parents and their lawyers: keep the child in the country long enough, and then you can use the argument that they are "adapted" to their new country). The next day, Carlos' attorney brought in a projector, with which they showed the courtroom a slideshow of photographs dating back to before Sage was born, to his baby shower, his birth, his time in N.C., eventually getting to the pictures of Ana and her male "mistress," in Mexico holding Sage, and then subsequently her return to N.C., where she continued to play the role of innocent wife to Carlos until she abducted Sage. Sage's age in the photos clearly delineated the chronology of these events, such that Ana's witnesses, as well as her own, testimonies were discredited.
While Carlos feels good about the proceedings thus far, and is expecting a decision this week (he is in court again today), he also knows that whatever is decided will again be appealed over and over, up to the supreme court, before a "final" decision is made. This can take months, or years, as it did the first time through. In the meantime, he continues to struggle with the conflicting demands on his time and energy from the case, driving hours away for visits with his son, work, and all the other things one has to do to stay afloat on his own. As his sister, and after our last conversation, I fear for how that will play out in his life and on his health. It is heart-wrenching to know how he is struggling down there, and how little we can do up here to help. If I can make a small request here, I ask that anybody who prays, please pray for his health to improve, his morale to stay high, and for clarity in his thinking as he attempts to prioritize what he needs to do. Please take a minute to offer some words of encouragement by commenting on this post, as he does view the blog from time to time. As always, I so appreciate your continued support.
Thank you,
Sonia
I caught my brother online last night and quickly requested he call for an update if able; a few minutes later the phone rang, and we talked for about 30 minutes about what's been happening. Here's the update:
The very first thing I noticed, which has been bothering me since, was that Carlos actually sounded ill this time--just exhausted and worn down. I asked him if he'd returned to the doctor since we last talked (at that time, he had been complaining about a stomach bug, fever, aches and pains, and a sore tooth, and was put on antibiotics), he said he'd been too busy, and money is tight, but that he was still on the antibiotics...his tooth is still very painful. Worrier as I am, and knowing he should have been much improved by now, I spent much of the rest of the phone call lecturing him to please go back to the doctor or a dentist...I hope he honors my request, as we all know the unfortunate reality is that, sometimes, our health doesn't wait for us to find time to deal with it
The visits with Sage have continued this week, and so have the subtle, and more outward, signs that his mother and her family do not want him to have a relationship with his father. On the first visit, Carlos was a bit late, as he has much farther to travel to accomodate Ana's chosen location for visits than does she. When he got there they had already left. The next day, Carlos was supposed to be going to watch Sage's soccer practice, but was given the wrong location. Finally, yesterday, he was supposed to be allowed 2 1/2 hours with Sage; her family showed up 40 minutes late, and upon arriving (with a new bunny they had just bought for Sage), quickly announced that they could only stay for 30 minutes. Sage has continued to call Carlos by his name since their second visit, where he first appeared unsure of how he was supposed to react. Ana continues to deny "teaching" Sage to call her father "dad." Carlos continues to take whatever he can get.
In the midst of all the visits, court hearings have continued this week re: the Hague case. For those who are unaware of the proceedings that have happened over the last several years, the hearings began in the lower (family) court; Carlos won 3 out of 4, with Ana appealing each time he won. They finally made it to the supreme court, where the judge determined that Sage's individual interests had not been represented, and the case would have to go back to the family court...this is where they are now (perhaps this time, the four-year old child (who was only 2 the first time around) will be allowed to voice his own four-year-old opinion regarding the outcome of the hearing (what do you all think that will be?????)
On the first day of the trial, Ana's lawyer introduced some new "witnesses," who basically just testified that Sage was adjusted and happy there. This was allowed despite the fact that it was totally irrelevant to the Hague proceedings (as many of you know, or may recall, this is a common tactic used by abducting parents and their lawyers: keep the child in the country long enough, and then you can use the argument that they are "adapted" to their new country). The next day, Carlos' attorney brought in a projector, with which they showed the courtroom a slideshow of photographs dating back to before Sage was born, to his baby shower, his birth, his time in N.C., eventually getting to the pictures of Ana and her male "mistress," in Mexico holding Sage, and then subsequently her return to N.C., where she continued to play the role of innocent wife to Carlos until she abducted Sage. Sage's age in the photos clearly delineated the chronology of these events, such that Ana's witnesses, as well as her own, testimonies were discredited.
While Carlos feels good about the proceedings thus far, and is expecting a decision this week (he is in court again today), he also knows that whatever is decided will again be appealed over and over, up to the supreme court, before a "final" decision is made. This can take months, or years, as it did the first time through. In the meantime, he continues to struggle with the conflicting demands on his time and energy from the case, driving hours away for visits with his son, work, and all the other things one has to do to stay afloat on his own. As his sister, and after our last conversation, I fear for how that will play out in his life and on his health. It is heart-wrenching to know how he is struggling down there, and how little we can do up here to help. If I can make a small request here, I ask that anybody who prays, please pray for his health to improve, his morale to stay high, and for clarity in his thinking as he attempts to prioritize what he needs to do. Please take a minute to offer some words of encouragement by commenting on this post, as he does view the blog from time to time. As always, I so appreciate your continued support.
Thank you,
Sonia
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
More Visits
I spoke with Carlos over email yesterday and received a nice summary of what's been happening in Mexico. Over the last week, he's seen Sage on 3-5 visits, at various locations. They play, and interact as naturally as they can considering all of the "supervision" by Ana's family, as well as the parental alienation going on when Sage is at home. In between visits, Carlos has been trying to get work done, working with his lawyers, and battling the frustrations of frequent driving on unfamiliar and questionably safe roads, in a questionably reliable car. This past week has been especially tough, as Carlos has been ill with some type of infection that's exacerbating the stomach issues seemingly inherent to travel in Mexico, that have been going on for much of his "residence" there.
Carlos' strengths in this impossible situation, include the fact that he knows what his goal is (to be with his son), he's got a resolve that has allowed him to thrive with essentially no consistent support close-by for many years now, and he's great with children. His nieces and nephews in Michigan all miss him for sure! There is no question in my mind that once Sage is removed from the situation he's now in, his bond with his daddy will return full force. The tortuous question that remains, however, is...WHEN will that be?????????????
In my reply to this last email from Carlos, I asked him where things now stand as far as the so-called Hague proceedings, and have yet to hear back. As much as I love hearing the stories and seeing pictures (there were no new pictures in his last email), this is the news I am most anxiously awaiting...
Carlos' strengths in this impossible situation, include the fact that he knows what his goal is (to be with his son), he's got a resolve that has allowed him to thrive with essentially no consistent support close-by for many years now, and he's great with children. His nieces and nephews in Michigan all miss him for sure! There is no question in my mind that once Sage is removed from the situation he's now in, his bond with his daddy will return full force. The tortuous question that remains, however, is...WHEN will that be?????????????
In my reply to this last email from Carlos, I asked him where things now stand as far as the so-called Hague proceedings, and have yet to hear back. As much as I love hearing the stories and seeing pictures (there were no new pictures in his last email), this is the news I am most anxiously awaiting...
Friday, June 10, 2011
I copied this post, written in 2/10 by my brother
Carlos frequently posts on and is very involved with the Bring Sean Home Foundation (link to the right). I've recently begun to frequent it more often myself, and just read this post written over a year ago. I actually had never heard my brother verbalize what he's going through in all this, despite having somewhat of an understanding what it might be like and the anxiety and depression he is inevitably suffering. It is that of the parent a KIDNAPPED child living in a dangerous part of the world. I worry for both of their safety frequently, I miss Sage dearly, but one of the most difficult parts of child abduction for non-parent family members is the true and essential loss of the victim parent to everyone else. Carlos is my twin brother, and I love him dearly. I want more than anything to have my own children play with their cousin, and to know their uncle, but until Sage comes home, that is lost to us all...
"Particularly depressed today.. Not everyone I work with knows what has happened to me and my son.. When he was born announcements were sent out to everyone in my area. My picture in the company directory is a picture of Sage and has been since Sage was 5 mos old. When he was first taken it was all I could do to even come in to work and if I didn't pay my attorneys no one else would. Most nights I didn't sleep and every waking moment I was worried and scared. I didn't know where my son was only that he was somewhere along the extremely violent US/Mexican border by Arizona with a naive and irresponsible mother who claimed she couldn't find a phone.. I needed to keep working and wanted to be able to without having people asking me what was going on all the time. I couldn't deal with that too so I didn't mention it to most work acquantices who asked about my son. They were making small talk around the office and asking about someone's small kids is ussually as safe and innocous a topic as the weather. Neither they, nor I, wanted to get into a long depressing conversation about international kidnapping so I would just change the subject. My managers know and a lot of people I work with also know now, but not everyone.. We had a lot of snow this past weekend, which is rare for NC, and I was talking to a work friend and complaining about how it had to happen over the weekend. He's a great father to two boys and always talking about some project or activity he's doing w/ them. He told me it wasn't so bad since he took his kids out sledding and to play in the snow... and asked me if I'd taken Sage out to play in it... and now I'm sitting in my cubicle trying not to cry.."
"Particularly depressed today.. Not everyone I work with knows what has happened to me and my son.. When he was born announcements were sent out to everyone in my area. My picture in the company directory is a picture of Sage and has been since Sage was 5 mos old. When he was first taken it was all I could do to even come in to work and if I didn't pay my attorneys no one else would. Most nights I didn't sleep and every waking moment I was worried and scared. I didn't know where my son was only that he was somewhere along the extremely violent US/Mexican border by Arizona with a naive and irresponsible mother who claimed she couldn't find a phone.. I needed to keep working and wanted to be able to without having people asking me what was going on all the time. I couldn't deal with that too so I didn't mention it to most work acquantices who asked about my son. They were making small talk around the office and asking about someone's small kids is ussually as safe and innocous a topic as the weather. Neither they, nor I, wanted to get into a long depressing conversation about international kidnapping so I would just change the subject. My managers know and a lot of people I work with also know now, but not everyone.. We had a lot of snow this past weekend, which is rare for NC, and I was talking to a work friend and complaining about how it had to happen over the weekend. He's a great father to two boys and always talking about some project or activity he's doing w/ them. He told me it wasn't so bad since he took his kids out sledding and to play in the snow... and asked me if I'd taken Sage out to play in it... and now I'm sitting in my cubicle trying not to cry.."
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Call for Help!!
Hi Everyone,
If you've been reading and wondering if there's anything you can do to help, here it is:
Congressman Chris Smith, of New Jersey, has introduced a bill in Congress, H.R. 1940 (The International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act of 2011). This bill is needing co-sponsors! Please contact your representatives (you can find them using this link: https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml). If they are already co-sponsoring, please take a minute to thank them for doing so. If they have yet to sign on, please let them know that you are one of their constituents, and would like them to co-sponsor H.R. 1940 introduced by Chris Smith.
Sincerest Thanks from the friends and relatives of Carlos and Sage Bermudez...we know your time is valuable!!
If you've been reading and wondering if there's anything you can do to help, here it is:
Congressman Chris Smith, of New Jersey, has introduced a bill in Congress, H.R. 1940 (The International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act of 2011). This bill is needing co-sponsors! Please contact your representatives (you can find them using this link: https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml). If they are already co-sponsoring, please take a minute to thank them for doing so. If they have yet to sign on, please let them know that you are one of their constituents, and would like them to co-sponsor H.R. 1940 introduced by Chris Smith.
Sincerest Thanks from the friends and relatives of Carlos and Sage Bermudez...we know your time is valuable!!
Update on Recent Visit
My last post was regarding the recent visit my brother had with Sage. At that time, few details were known other than the fact that we were all ecstatic to hear Sage had referred to his father as "dad" several times. Our family received a brief call not long after from Carlos, where we learned that visits are currently being ordered by the judge 3-4 times per week, which is GREAT NEWS! For the first month Carlos will have to visit Sage in the presence of Ana and her family, and I'm presuming that after that they'll get some time alone.
While I couldn't be happier that my brother finally gets some time to be with Sage, and while Carlos may not agree with me (after all, he's there and I'm not, and I don't really know all that is happening), I can't help but wonder if there are some, both here and there, who may try to placate him and decrease any efforts to return Sage to the U.S. by suggesting that since he is seeing him so often in Mexico, there is no need to return him. I continue to fear for his safety at times, as we all know that Mexico has had a steady increase in the rate of violent crimes perpetrated against foreigners, even in cases where there are no natives necessarily opposed to their presence. For these, and for so many other reasons, I temper my response to these small blessings with the ultimate reality that Sage still is not where he needs to be, and the work must continue to get him home.
Despite his many supporters, Carlos is, like many left-behind parents, essentially fighting the real fight alone. Although we help when and where we are able, and all miss Sage more than can be expressed, the financial and emotional burden lies squarely on Carlos' shoulders, and he is now faced with a paradox of emotions. On the one hand, total joy at finally being able to interact with his son, and on the other, now having to directly face the consequences of what his wife's continued abusive decisions have done to them. Having been abducted at one year of age, Sage remembers little to nothing of his father, and yet, on their first visit together, Sage interacted freely with him, enjoying their games and very casually referring to him as dad in Spanish. On their second visit, however, Sage appeared more withdrawn, and called him Carlos instead of dad. Upon hearing this, Ana quickly replied that she was in fact the one who had told Sage to call him dad, but that he didn't feel comfortable with it, so they told him he could call him Carlos. He also made several other comments that clearly confirmed not only the outright lies he had been told (ie. that Ana's dad was his dad), but also that there are clear attempts at parental alienation going on when Sage is with his mother's family (at one time he said randomly to Carlos, "you know, strangers are dangerous.")
Upon initially hearing that Sage was referring to my brother as dad, I asked him, "well, who told him you were his dad?" I knew that at their first visit, Carlos had made the deliberate and difficult decision not to divulge this to Sage, as he did not want to add immediate confusion to the psychological abuse he was already suffering. Apparently, the judge that ruled in favor of visitations came right out and asked Sage who his father was, and when Sage pointed to Ana's father and said "Tonio," the judge told him "no, that's your father," and pointed to Carlos. Because he knew this was confusing to Sage, my brother tried showing some pictures of Sage, Ana, and himself back in N.C. to him, so that he could see they'd all lived together at one time. Ana's characteristically selfish response was to tell Carlos not to show the pictures to Sage. Why would she not want him to do this? Despite the fact that she is now being court-ordered to acknowledge to Sage that Carlos is his father by letting them have visits, she is continuing to try to deny this to him on so many levels. As a mother of two, I simply cannot imagine how one could intentionally do this to their own child. I can only hope and pray that this will be looked at for what it is...outright abuse...in the proceedings to come.
While I couldn't be happier that my brother finally gets some time to be with Sage, and while Carlos may not agree with me (after all, he's there and I'm not, and I don't really know all that is happening), I can't help but wonder if there are some, both here and there, who may try to placate him and decrease any efforts to return Sage to the U.S. by suggesting that since he is seeing him so often in Mexico, there is no need to return him. I continue to fear for his safety at times, as we all know that Mexico has had a steady increase in the rate of violent crimes perpetrated against foreigners, even in cases where there are no natives necessarily opposed to their presence. For these, and for so many other reasons, I temper my response to these small blessings with the ultimate reality that Sage still is not where he needs to be, and the work must continue to get him home.
Despite his many supporters, Carlos is, like many left-behind parents, essentially fighting the real fight alone. Although we help when and where we are able, and all miss Sage more than can be expressed, the financial and emotional burden lies squarely on Carlos' shoulders, and he is now faced with a paradox of emotions. On the one hand, total joy at finally being able to interact with his son, and on the other, now having to directly face the consequences of what his wife's continued abusive decisions have done to them. Having been abducted at one year of age, Sage remembers little to nothing of his father, and yet, on their first visit together, Sage interacted freely with him, enjoying their games and very casually referring to him as dad in Spanish. On their second visit, however, Sage appeared more withdrawn, and called him Carlos instead of dad. Upon hearing this, Ana quickly replied that she was in fact the one who had told Sage to call him dad, but that he didn't feel comfortable with it, so they told him he could call him Carlos. He also made several other comments that clearly confirmed not only the outright lies he had been told (ie. that Ana's dad was his dad), but also that there are clear attempts at parental alienation going on when Sage is with his mother's family (at one time he said randomly to Carlos, "you know, strangers are dangerous.")
Upon initially hearing that Sage was referring to my brother as dad, I asked him, "well, who told him you were his dad?" I knew that at their first visit, Carlos had made the deliberate and difficult decision not to divulge this to Sage, as he did not want to add immediate confusion to the psychological abuse he was already suffering. Apparently, the judge that ruled in favor of visitations came right out and asked Sage who his father was, and when Sage pointed to Ana's father and said "Tonio," the judge told him "no, that's your father," and pointed to Carlos. Because he knew this was confusing to Sage, my brother tried showing some pictures of Sage, Ana, and himself back in N.C. to him, so that he could see they'd all lived together at one time. Ana's characteristically selfish response was to tell Carlos not to show the pictures to Sage. Why would she not want him to do this? Despite the fact that she is now being court-ordered to acknowledge to Sage that Carlos is his father by letting them have visits, she is continuing to try to deny this to him on so many levels. As a mother of two, I simply cannot imagine how one could intentionally do this to their own child. I can only hope and pray that this will be looked at for what it is...outright abuse...in the proceedings to come.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sage and his Daddy!!
It's official...Sage FINALLY got to spend some time visiting with his father yesterday! This is what I know of the visit at this point:
Despite attempts to alienate David (Carlos) from Sage's life, Sage referred to him as dad at least 20-30 times during the visit, and they got to spend the time playing together. At this point, Sage is still accompanied by his mother (and from the pictures I saw, several others from her family). I'm not sure what the decision was regarding this by the courts there, or if this will change with time. At some point, we would love it if the two could spend some time together bonding alone, as should be their right.
While this was wonderful news for our family, and I'm sure elation for my brother, seeing the few pictures we have from the visit only emphasizes the time lost, as Sage no longer looks like a toddler. And, we must keep our focus on the ultimate goal here, for Sage to come home for good. In the meantime, thank you for taking the time to read these updates, and we can all celebrate a little at this small victory for my brother and Sage.
Despite attempts to alienate David (Carlos) from Sage's life, Sage referred to him as dad at least 20-30 times during the visit, and they got to spend the time playing together. At this point, Sage is still accompanied by his mother (and from the pictures I saw, several others from her family). I'm not sure what the decision was regarding this by the courts there, or if this will change with time. At some point, we would love it if the two could spend some time together bonding alone, as should be their right.
While this was wonderful news for our family, and I'm sure elation for my brother, seeing the few pictures we have from the visit only emphasizes the time lost, as Sage no longer looks like a toddler. And, we must keep our focus on the ultimate goal here, for Sage to come home for good. In the meantime, thank you for taking the time to read these updates, and we can all celebrate a little at this small victory for my brother and Sage.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
A Small Victory!
Because of difficult communications at this point between my brother in Mexico and our family up here, I don't have a lot of details yet, but we do know this:
We received word last night that he was granted court-approved visits with Sage, possibly starting today! We haven't heard anything thus far today, so I don't know if they got to meet or not, but maybe we'll have some pictures soon! I'll be sure to share if anything comes through!
--Sonia
We received word last night that he was granted court-approved visits with Sage, possibly starting today! We haven't heard anything thus far today, so I don't know if they got to meet or not, but maybe we'll have some pictures soon! I'll be sure to share if anything comes through!
--Sonia
Thursday, June 2, 2011
PICTURES
May 14, 2007
Sage with his aunt, Sonia, on his one and only visit to Michigan
Sage at home in N.C.
N.C.
Sage in his room at home in N.C.
Sage with daddy
Gettin' bigger
N.C. again...I love this smile
One of the few visits Sage has had with his father since his mom, Ana Belem, took him. This was maybe two years ago at a courthouse in Mexico. Sadly, there are very few pictures available to us after this time as Ana and her family have failed to provide any. We are hoping to get some soon and will post them as soon as we do.
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